We have now been in the adoption process for 4 months and at times it seems to be moving painfully slow however we are trusting in God's timing and not our own. I have heard so many adoption stories where parents were frustrated with circumstances beyond their control only to realize later on that it was only through those circumstances that they were able to find their child. We are trusting God to use all of our "delays" and "disappointments" to lead us directly to our Chinese Peanut.
Nope, we haven't chosen a child yet. Although truthfully we've chosen about 20 children. Our agency has a large list of "special needs" children who are waiting for their families. Andy & I have gone through their list and have made our own list of children who we feel drawn to. Unfortunately as of now they don't allow you to adopt 20 children at once so we have to try and pick ONE. If you have had the pleasure (or displeasure) of hanging out with me for any amount of time you have heard me lament, "How do you pick a CHILD?!?" We have pictures, videos, files, descriptions, medical diagnosis…It all just seems so wrong but… necessary, I guess. The fact is that we don't get to pick our biological children. We go through labor and a tiny stranger is placed in our arms. We didn't get the chance to go through a checklist of what "special needs" we were willing to accept. We didn't get to see a video of our child showing off their skills. We just love them with everything we have in us. This is how it's supposed to work.
Strangely, we went through this same process when looking to buy a dog. I poured over pictures on the internet trying to figure out what dog would be best for us. Hundreds of pictures of sad dogs with descriptions of how they just need a family to love them. Now I'm doing it for our CHILD? Honestly, I kind of hate it. Each child on the list is labeled "special needs" and if not adopted they will be subjected to a life that you and I can't even imagine… prostitution, thievery, government factory worker (which is where a lot of persecuted Christians are sent to do forced labor.) This is their reality. They were born into a society that values "perfection" and they have been found "lacking."
So we are not adopting because we are bored or because we feel like it's the "good evangelical Christian" thing to do. We're not trying to "show off" or be "trendy" (I read an article claiming that suddenly adopting is the cool thing to do.) Every snapshot we see is a child who has been created by God for a unique purpose. Each face is a precious life of infinite worth. They matter and they deserve a chance. They deserve to hear that Jesus loves them and that they will never be abandoned again. They deserve to be tucked into bed at night and hugged and told they are special. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM deserves this. How can I choose just one?
But then about the time that the panic sets in I am always reminded that I am not the one doing the choosing.
It's not my call. God has already chosen our Chinese Peanut. He knows exactly who belongs in our family and even now he's preparing us for each other (of course I have to remind myself of this at least 50 times a day.) My job is to do a lot of paperwork and to make sure I'm listening to God and moving forward on his signal. The only way I can make it through this is because He's in charge.
So it's December and things are crazy busy as usual. This year, however, is a little different for me. We will again be having beautiful Christmas celebrations with our family and friends, however, there is an ache in my heart because on the other side of the world there is a little Chinese Peanut who is mine just as surely as David and Jessie are. My child is not here yet and they don't yet know that they are loved…but Lord willing next year at this time they WILL know beyond a shadow of a doubt. So this year we hang a few Chinese ornaments on the tree and hang all of our hope on Jesus.
Strangely, we went through this same process when looking to buy a dog. I poured over pictures on the internet trying to figure out what dog would be best for us. Hundreds of pictures of sad dogs with descriptions of how they just need a family to love them. Now I'm doing it for our CHILD? Honestly, I kind of hate it. Each child on the list is labeled "special needs" and if not adopted they will be subjected to a life that you and I can't even imagine… prostitution, thievery, government factory worker (which is where a lot of persecuted Christians are sent to do forced labor.) This is their reality. They were born into a society that values "perfection" and they have been found "lacking."
So we are not adopting because we are bored or because we feel like it's the "good evangelical Christian" thing to do. We're not trying to "show off" or be "trendy" (I read an article claiming that suddenly adopting is the cool thing to do.) Every snapshot we see is a child who has been created by God for a unique purpose. Each face is a precious life of infinite worth. They matter and they deserve a chance. They deserve to hear that Jesus loves them and that they will never be abandoned again. They deserve to be tucked into bed at night and hugged and told they are special. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM deserves this. How can I choose just one?
But then about the time that the panic sets in I am always reminded that I am not the one doing the choosing.
It's not my call. God has already chosen our Chinese Peanut. He knows exactly who belongs in our family and even now he's preparing us for each other (of course I have to remind myself of this at least 50 times a day.) My job is to do a lot of paperwork and to make sure I'm listening to God and moving forward on his signal. The only way I can make it through this is because He's in charge.
So it's December and things are crazy busy as usual. This year, however, is a little different for me. We will again be having beautiful Christmas celebrations with our family and friends, however, there is an ache in my heart because on the other side of the world there is a little Chinese Peanut who is mine just as surely as David and Jessie are. My child is not here yet and they don't yet know that they are loved…but Lord willing next year at this time they WILL know beyond a shadow of a doubt. So this year we hang a few Chinese ornaments on the tree and hang all of our hope on Jesus.
