Steady Plodding...

We are in the ever-so-exciting part of the adoption process know as the "home study." Now 3 out of the 4 meetings with our social worker have been completed and most of our paperwork has been sent in. My favorite part was when David took our social worker on the tour of the house taking great care to point out each and every smoke detector (this was NOT rehearsed.) We have been thrilled with our home study agency (not to be confused with our adoption agency, although we like them too) and our social worker has been wonderful to work with. I have heard that this is not always the case so we are thanking God for that.

We have now been in the adoption process for 4 months and at times it seems to be moving painfully slow however we are trusting in God's timing and not our own. I have heard so many adoption stories where parents were frustrated with circumstances beyond their control only to realize later on that it was only through those circumstances that they were able to find their child. We are trusting God to use all of our "delays" and "disappointments" to lead us directly to our Chinese Peanut.

Nope, we haven't chosen a child yet. Although truthfully we've chosen about 20 children. Our agency has a large list of "special needs" children who are waiting for their families. Andy & I have gone through their list and have made our own list of children who we feel drawn to. Unfortunately as of now they don't allow you to adopt 20 children at once so we have to try and pick ONE.  If you have had the pleasure (or displeasure) of hanging out with me for any amount of time you have heard me lament, "How do you pick a CHILD?!?" We have pictures, videos, files, descriptions, medical diagnosis…It all just seems so wrong but… necessary, I guess. The fact is that we don't get to pick our biological children. We go through labor and a tiny stranger is placed in our arms. We didn't get the chance to go through a checklist of what "special needs" we were willing to accept. We didn't get to see a video of our child showing off their skills. We just love them with everything we have in us. This is how it's supposed to work.

Strangely, we went through this same process when looking to buy a dog. I poured over pictures on the internet trying to figure out what dog would be best for us. Hundreds of pictures of sad dogs with descriptions of how they just need a family to love them. Now I'm doing it for our CHILD? Honestly, I kind of hate it.  Each child on the list is labeled "special needs" and if not adopted they will be subjected to a life that you and I can't even imagine… prostitution, thievery, government factory worker (which is where a lot of persecuted Christians are sent to do forced labor.) This is their reality. They were born into a society that values "perfection" and they have been found "lacking." 

So we are not adopting because we are bored or because we feel like it's the "good evangelical Christian" thing to do. We're not trying to "show off" or be "trendy" (I read an article claiming that suddenly adopting is the cool thing to do.)  Every snapshot we see is a child who has been created by God for a unique purpose. Each face is a precious life of infinite worth. They matter and they deserve a chance. They deserve to hear that Jesus loves them and that they will never be abandoned again. They deserve to be tucked into bed at night and hugged and told they are special. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM deserves this. How can I choose just one?

But then about the time that the panic sets in I am always reminded that I am not the one doing the choosing. 

It's not my call. God has already chosen our Chinese Peanut. He knows exactly who belongs in our family and even now he's preparing us for each other (of course I have to remind myself of this at least 50 times a day.) My job is to do a lot of paperwork and to make sure I'm listening to God and moving forward on his signal. The only way I can make it through this is because He's in charge. 

So it's December and things are crazy busy as usual. This year, however, is a little different for me. We will again be having beautiful Christmas celebrations with our family and friends, however, there is an ache in my heart because on the other side of the world there is a little Chinese Peanut who is mine just as surely as David and Jessie are. My child is not here yet and they don't yet know that they are loved…but Lord willing next year at this time they WILL know beyond a shadow of a doubt. So this year we hang a few Chinese ornaments on the tree and hang all of our hope on Jesus. 

I Will Brush My Hair

Blogging is hard. Then again maybe it is just hard for me. I've been wanting to write a post for a while now but every time I plop down in the comfy yellow chair with my laptop the kiddos sense that I am about to focus on something that doesn't involve them. This usually means that David will "cannon ball" into my lap and Jessie will furiously crawl to me with a wild look of anticipation as she attempts to attack the glowing silver "book." I've been accused of exaggerating once or twice in my life, but I kid you not, this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME.
So this is a magical moment for me. Andy has taken the kiddos on a trip to the car wash. I just finished an entire cup of hot/warmish coffee and am happily sitting in the comfy yellow chair. I should probably blog about something deep and meaningful.

Ok, so I think I might be crazy. There were about 65 times during this past week that I informed God that I can't handle another child. I only have 2 children. That is not a lot but what if I'm just not one of those people who can handle any more? I am already rocking the yoga pants and sweatshirts on a fairly daily basis. What will a 3rd child do to me? Sometimes I forget to comb my hair (sorry Andy.) Anyways...

This Wednesday we go down to Indy to meet with our home study agency. We chose an out-of-state adoption agency so that means we have a separate home study agency. Apparently we just wanted to make it more difficult on ourselves because not only did we have to find our own home study agency but it also has to be accredited by China's standards. We've come to realize that China is kind of "above and beyond" when it comes to adoption. They are super serious about the vetting process and while I believe this is a very good thing it adds some steps (and money) to the process. So our orientation meeting is scheduled for Wednesday. Between now and then we will practice our biggest (but not creepy) smiles and work on being as charming as possible. You really want your social worker to like you right? From what I hear this is when the flurry of paperwork will begin. I promise to plant a few trees to make up for the ones that will have to die for our cause. 

Beyond preparing for that, we're doing a lot of waiting, thinking and praying. So many of our family and friends have already come up along side us and have shown their support. We are so grateful for you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you! AND...
If you're already sick of listening to us talk about our adoption then we apologize but really can't promise it will get any better. You might just have to de-friend us for a while. This is pretty much the biggest thing going on for us right now. 

So I'm going to go now and enjoy at least 5 minutes of absolute silence...
and I'll "see" you next time Andy takes the kids out! I love my husband.

Who's Idea Was This Anyways?

So is it just me or does everyone reheat their coffee at least 5 times every day? That might actually be a good day. A bad day is when the hubby opens the microwave at night to make his popcorn and with raised eyebrows hands me my half full icy cup of sad forgotten coffee. I gave my blog this title after trying out cutesy options such as "Runyan Ramblings." Yeah... that's not going to work. So to more accurately portray my life I landed on the phrase which my poor 3 year old hears many times a day,

David: "Mommy, can we go outside?"

Me: "Yes, but let me reheat my coffee."

David: "Mommy, can we read a book?"

Me: "Yes, let me reheat my coffee first. Wait. Where is my coffee???? (opens microwave) Okay, let me RE-reheat my coffee."

So I feel you should know that I do not drink huge amounts of coffee every day. I only drink 2 cups but it takes me ALL day to do it. Okay. Hello? Are you still here?
I promise you this blog is not going to be all about coffee.

This blog IS all about our decision to adopt. Although to say it more accurately it is about God's decision that we should adopt. In reality this was not OUR idea. God planted this seed in our minds first as a passing thought, then as a "what if?", and finally he surrounded us (bombarded even) with friends, family and random people (some met while buying a stroller on Craigslist) who had adopted or were in the process of adopting. 

As for the reason I have decided to blog about all this, well this is obviously the easiest way to keep a lot of friends and family updated on where we are in this process. Many people who read this blog are going to be part of our child's life. We want them to be able to pray with us, get excited with us, and maybe get a little stressed out with us too. :-) We can't do this alone. Our friends and family are so important to us. 

Another reason I decided to jump on the "blog bandwagon" is because of the huge impact that various adoption blogs had on me when I was trying to figure out what God was saying to me. So many questions were answered and the unknown seemed much less scary somehow. I read many posts with tears running down my face and I was hit with such a feeling of, "Yes! This is your heart! What are you waiting for?" Of course part of it was the fact that I am not alone in this. I have a dear wonderful husband (who at the current moment is cleaning up my house so I can finish this post in peace.) Also as we all know men and women are different and process things differently (um... understatement of the year?) So it was up to God to bring Andy and I into complete agreement over this incredibly important decision. I was not going to push and guilt him into this. If you are interested in hearing his side of the story follow him on his blog here at Andy's Blog. I am so blessed by him and proud of his desire to blog about this. He was frustrated by the lack of husband support on the internet when it came to adoption. Everything seemed to be geared toward the women. So he decided that an adoption blog written by a man would be a helpful thing to encourage other men whose wives have gone crazy... :-) 

It comes down to this. There is an orphan crisis in our world. If my blog can nudge even one person to pray harder, give a little money, or adopt a child who needs a family then I will have succeeded. 
So whether you're here for the long haul or have already decided to jump ship, thanks for stopping by. 

Hi Mom!

I'm going to be honest. I am a reluctant blogger. Don't get me wrong, I like blogs and I read plenty of them but I've never felt I had anything worth sharing that needed to be put out there into cyberspace for all mankind to read. In all reality "all mankind" is probably going to consist of my mom, my best friend, and a few random people who were really just hoping to find some great tips on how to most effectively reheat coffee (um...use your microwave?)  So why the change of heart? Thanks for asking. Life is about to get a little more interesting and this seemed like the best way to document it plus... all of the cool kids are doing it.
So, did you hear the rumor that the Runyans are adopting? Yeah. Crazy, I know.